{"id":8018,"date":"2017-08-08T10:48:23","date_gmt":"2017-08-08T17:48:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lifeandhealth.wordifysites.com\/?p=7569"},"modified":"2021-12-27T08:24:13","modified_gmt":"2021-12-27T16:24:13","slug":"how-to-maintain-a-healthy-diet-despite-your-familys-objections","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/lifestyle\/how-to-maintain-a-healthy-diet-despite-your-familys-objections\/108018.html","title":{"rendered":"How To Maintain A Healthy Diet, Despite Your Family’s Objections"},"content":{"rendered":"

L<\/span>ast summer, I saw an unflattering photo of myself posted online that sent my self-esteem spiraling within seconds. So I did what any mature adult would do: I panicked and hit delete as fast as possible. Next, I quickly found the shirt I\u2019d had on in the photo, threw it in the \u201cdonate\u201d pile, and then sat reflecting on how much the odd angle and bad lighting were to blame.<\/p>\n

When the emotional dust settled, I faced facts: The real issue didn\u2019t have anything to do with my shirt or the photo\u2019s angle or lighting. The real issue was my weight.<\/p>\n

Right then and there, I committed to improving not only my own eating habits but my family\u2019s, too. Surely my husband and children would be enthused, right? I mean, who doesn\u2019t want to eat healthier? I love to cook, and adding more fruits and vegetables would probably go unnoticed.<\/p>\n

Turns out I was wrong on all counts.<\/p>\n

Cutting out our weekly pizza and fast food was met with resistance. Clearing our kitchen of chips, cookies, and sugary drinks didn\u2019t go over so well either. We\u2019d gotten used to eating to celebrate, eating between meals, eating while watching TV at night. Changing these well-worn habits would be no easy task.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not that my family was completely unsupportive; they were simply used to eating whatever, whenever…so the transition wasn\u2019t a smooth one.<\/p>\n

More than once, a 24-pack of soda and several containers of chip dip appeared like a vision in our refrigerator. My husband, in a habitual act of love, repeatedly brought home goodies from my favorite bakery. My seven-year-old daughter is still traumatized from the time I tried to pass off \u201ccauliflower fried rice\u201d as the real thing.<\/p>\n

Certainly, I\u2019m not alone in this struggle. Diet saboteurs can take many forms and are found at home, at work, and in our social circles. Their actions, questions, and comments may be well-intentioned, but they can readily set you off course if you\u2019re not prepared.<\/p>\n

Liz N., 48, can relate. \u201cMy mother shows her love by cooking and taking care of people,\u201d she says. \u201cThis is a pretty universal issue, but it gets incredibly complicated when you\u2019re trying to diet and you\u2019re turning down your mother\u2019s casseroles, which \u2018equal\u2019 her love. I think my mom tries really hard not to, but she gets so hurt and even angry when I say I can\u2019t eat something she\u2019s cooked.\u201d<\/p>\n

Thirty-eight-year-old nurse manager Dave S. offers another example of food pressure from family, explaining how his mother is notorious for asking him to \u201cfinish the last few pieces of pizza or that last scoop of whatever dish she\u2019s made, so she can clean up the kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Every time you try to make a healthier choice, there\u2019s likely to be someone who pushes back or undermines your decision with statements like these:<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re no fun anymore!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the big deal about a slice or two of pizza?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBut I made this meal just for you! You have to eat it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t need to lose any weight! <\/span>You\u2019re fine just the way you are.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t you skip exercising just this once?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s your\/my birthday! One piece of cake won\u2019t hurt.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy can\u2019t you loosen up and eat <\/span>what everybody else is eating?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Holding on to the people\u2014and the food\u2014you love<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

The truth is, your relationships can dramatically affect your diet, whether it\u2019s co-workers badgering you to join them for calorie-laden snacks or meals, a thin friend scoffing at your food choices, or a well-meaning spouse who feels threatened by your healthy changes.<\/p>\n

In one study from Stanford University, 90 percent of women participating in a group weight-loss program said they rarely or never received support from their friends for healthy eating. Seventy-eight percent said the same about their family. A number of the dieters even reported that loved ones purposely sabotaged their efforts to slim down.<\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of times people internalize the actions of others,\u201d says marriage and family therapist Vanessa Sovine. \u201cThey look at what other people do as a reflection of what they are\u2014or aren\u2019t\u2014doing in their lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

Friends and family who see you improving your health may feel jealousy, judgment, or even guilt for not making changes themselves. You order a salad, and they feel they should be doing the same thing. They push treats or offer extra helpings, and they give you a hard time if you say no. They fear your relationship will change\u2014and not for the better\u2014if you no longer enjoy eating together.<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes it is difficult to see past our own feelings,\u201d says Sovine. The key is to recognize potential sabotage and learn how to appropriately respond to it. \u201cAsk yourself if your family or friend is offering suggestions, solutions, or options that are taking you closer to or further away from your goal,\u201d says Sovine.<\/p>\n

Here are other ways to stay true to your healthy habits while dealing with those who may not be supportive of your goals:<\/p>\n

1.Present your diet as a \u201cget healthy\u201d plan instead of a \u201cget skinny\u201d one<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Claiming you\u2019re not hungry, that you have to control your blood sugar, or that you\u2019re allergic to a certain food may momentarily quiet a naysayer. But award-winning dietitian and author Kristin Kirkpatrick says honesty about the big picture is key when explaining why you\u2019re making changes. She explains, \u201cYou can say, \u2018I\u2019m trying really hard to improve my health so I can live longer and be strong for _____\u2019 (and fill in the blank with grandchildren, wife, etc.).\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMake it about health and doing something for the family, as opposed to making it about weight and fitting into your high school jeans,\u201d says Kirkpatrick.<\/p>\n

2. Be upfront<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\u201cI am always an advocate of open and honest communication,\u201d says Sovine. \u201cThe key is to use \u2018I feel\u2019 statements and focus on your feelings and goals. When you focus on the behaviors of others, people can become defensive and stop listening to what you are saying. Most people resent when others try to force change on them; so make it clear that you\u2019re asking them to support you, not to change with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Though it may be uncomfortable, explain why you need support and offer examples of how to be helpful. Try something like, \u201cI appreciate when you think of me and bake my favorite treats, but I\u2019m trying not to eat so many sweets. Maybe we can try out some new recipes that I can eat\u201d (rather than discussing what you \u201ccan\u2019t\u201d eat).<\/p>\n

3. Come prepared<\/strong><\/h3>\n

If you find yourself facing pressure (and no healthy choices!) at social events or family get-togethers, be sure to have a plan in place so you don\u2019t wind up hungry and cranky.<\/p>\n

Start your plan before you even leave home, says Kirkpatrick. To ensure you don\u2019t arrive at the event ravenous, have a handful of almonds or a few apple slices with peanut butter. \u201cOr bring something healthy with you if you think there will be nothing available,\u201d says Kirkpatrick.<\/p>\n

4. Remember, most people are well-intentioned<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Yes, actual saboteurs do exist. You may run into friends who are competitive about weight loss, spouses who would rather you stay overweight, and family members who are angry about the changes you\u2019ve made.<\/p>\n

But the vast majority of people are not thinking about your diet. If someone brings your favorite doughnuts to work, they\u2019re probably not out to ruin your day of healthy eating. Likewise, if your mother-in-law offers a second helping of her famous casserole, she\u2019s most likely doing it out of love and habit. A simple, \u201cNo, thank you\u201d or, \u201cIt\u2019s delicious, but I\u2019m full!\u201d should suffice.<\/p>\n

If you continue to receive pressure, it may be time for a more serious conversation about why you\u2019re making different food choices.<\/p>\n

\n

Reprinted with permission from Vibrant Life<\/a> magazine.<\/em><\/p>\n

Photo by Dan Gold<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last summer, I saw an unflattering photo of myself posted online that sent my self-esteem spiraling within seconds. So I did what any mature adult would do: I panicked and hit delete as fast as possible. Next, I quickly found the shirt I\u2019d had on in the photo, threw it in the \u201cdonate\u201d pile, and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1695,"featured_media":8085,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,2,5],"tags":[182,203,263],"thb-sponsors":[],"yst_prominent_words":[1295,741,791,749,1023,802,760,880,1833,2651,699,867,886],"class_list":["post-8018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-healthy-habits","category-lifestyle","category-relationships-community","tag-mind-body-spirit","tag-plant-to-plate-nutrition","tag-vegetarianism-2","post_format-post-format-image"],"acf":[],"views":393,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8018","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1695"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8018"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8018\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21659,"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8018\/revisions\/21659"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8085"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8018"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8018"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8018"},{"taxonomy":"thb-sponsors","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/thb-sponsors?post=8018"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeandhealth.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=8018"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}